Living a seemingly healthy life, I did not realize the consequences of toxins in utero. After my third pregnancy turned for the worse, I was desperate to make a change. Don’t let this happen to you. Find out what happened to my baby that made me go chemical and toxin free.
Have you ever felt like you hit a wall? All your options are out? There is nowhere left to turn? You are drowning…..or maybe you feel like you are struggling but things could be worse? Yes, I have been there too. Every single one of these emotions. I live a great life, an AMAZING life, well so I thought, until everything started falling apart.
Nothing is Wrong With Me
I am a salesperson by trade, marketer I prefer to say, and have been selling information for the last 6 years. I work for a very large American company selling data to Fortune 500 and Fortune 100 companies. My job is awesome and I am really good at it. I LOVE my interactions with people and I LOVE problem solving. I am a qualified “problem solver” (my own coined term). When I fix people’s problems I get that butterfly feeling inside my stomach that many people experience on their wedding day. I’ve been married, so yes, I do know what it feels like.
That feeling of excited anticipation of what’s to come: the vows as we stare into each other’s eyes, the kiss after we say “I do”, the amazing food my dad paid thousands of dollars for, the wine, the beer, the dancing and the rest of our lives to live happily ever-after. That kind of feeling. When I solve people’s problems, I am anxiously awaiting to see how amazing the results are going to be because I know how difficult and annoying problems can be.
The funny thing is, as a qualified “problem solver”, I am REALLY good at solving other people’s problems. And, since I get such a high on solving other people’s problems, I do it all day long, even in my sleep. Literally, I will have dreams about fixing things at work. Actually, some of my best ideas come to me in dreams…crazy, right?
Because I am so good and love solving problems, I myself actually had problems that needed to be solved but never took the time. I knew I had minor problems like a sore hip so I needed to see a chiropractor, my contact prescription needed to be updated because my eyes would hurt at the end of the day, the light in closet would flicker every time I would turn it on and often I would be left in the dark because I would forget to fix it. Those kinds of minor, annoying problems. Like most people, I pushed them to the side because my hip didn’t hurt that much or my contacts were working for the most part and I would always be able to rummage around in the dark to find what I needed.
But there was one MAJOR problem I wasn’t even aware of, because how can you fix a problem that you didn’t even know existed. There is this quote that says “ignoring the signs is a good way to end up at the wrong destination”. That’s a good saying for people who are paying attention to the signs. I wasn’t paying attention at all. I was blasting my very loud music, signing at the top of my lungs, windows down, hair blowing in the wind….not paying any attention. Because I wasn’t paying attention to the “road” I was on, I didn’t see any signs and had no clue I heading in the wrong direction. Wasn’t even on my radar. Until I got there in June 2016.
The Big Surprise
We had just celebrated my dad’s birthday weekend in Boulder, Colorado at the St. Julien Hotel. Eating, drinking and being merry. Really it was a quick weekend getaway my whole family (dad, mom, brother, sister-in-law, other brother, sister and my tribe of 4) could commit to.
At my dad’s birthday dinner, in the hotel at Jill’s Restaurant and Bistro, we had a great time. Each of his children (I’m the eldest) shared their cards and gifts that we had written and bought. And I told everyone that I was going last because I am the oldest and bossiest. And they all obeyed (tongue in cheek). I had a special surprise and I didn’t want the others cards to be ruined by my amazing gift (no tongue in cheek)!
It came to my turn and I was so excited. He is such a sweet man, very gentle and unassuming. He doesn’t ask or require a lot and those are always the people you want to treat very special. But, he is also the hardest to buy gifts for. Nathanael (my husband) and I pondered many nights what to get for him. Finally it came to us.
So when it is our turn, he ripped open the card, and I am doing everything I can not to break a smile. Nathanael and I are watching him as he opens the card knowing what is about to happen. He reads the first caption that birthday cards always have and nods his heads as though he agrees with every statement and then he pauses, he turns his head slightly and starts analyzing. He turns his head the other way and does some more analyzing and then he say “no”, “no-way”. He looks at us and says, “this is a joke”.
But it wasn’t, I was pregnant, the third time around just 8 months after giving birth to my son. He was in shock, my whole family was in shock, and Nathanael and I were in shock when we found out only a few weeks earlier. A little surprise for everyone!
And, boy, were we in for a surprise.
And So It Began
A few weeks later I started bleeding (I was 12 weeks along). I was disappointed because I prepared myself for this baby and all of the exciting things that were about to happen. I had a miscarriage before so I knew what to expect with large amounts of blood. I saw my doctor knowing what they were going to say. BUT, I walked out of that appointment pleasantly surprised. The heartbeat was good, she was growing and not to be alarmed. They thought it was a fluke accident. Many women bleed in their first trimester.
So, I went on my merry way…..problem solving.
Soon, I realized the bleeding had come back and this time it was pretty significant. To the point where I needed to wear a pad. I went in again thinking, “they are just going to tell me the same thing and everything will be fine”. Just a fluke. At this point, 18 weeks in, I could feel her kicking and wiggling around which is always a good sign. The bad news I was expecting in the first appointment finally came.
My doctor waltzed in carrying the ultrasound pictures they just took. She laid them on the table and said “have you ever seen something like this before”. I wasn’t sure if she was asking a rhetorical question because she knew I was not a doctor and had very little knowledge about ultrasound pictures. I looked and all I saw was a white circle, a little peanut and black. I had no idea what I was looking at.
From then on, I kind of just fell into shock so I don’t remember a lot. Basically, she was trying to explain I had a Subchorionic Hematoma (a VERY large blood clot) in my uterus measuring 4” by 4” by 2’ in height, width and length. It was huge! At 18 weeks a baby is around 5 inches long or the size of a bell pepper. My doctor told me I had two bell peppers inside of me except one was trying to live, survive, grow and develop while the other one was working on impeding on all of those goals. My daughter’s life was threatened and I went to bed (bed rest that is) for 13 WEEKS.
My doctor has been in the OB GYN practice for over 25 years. Imagine how many babies she has delivered. Lots! Plenty! Enough to have seen many different situations…except mine. She, personally, had never seen the bleeding, or the blood clot, quite like mine. She works in a practice alongside other qualified doctors and only one of her colleagues had seen something similar, once before, but the blood clot was half the size.
Seeing my OB GYN for over 5 years and having 3 babies in 4 years you get well acquainted. She knew my life and how crazy it was. 1) My husband left our two toddlers and myself for 6 weeks of flight training, 2) we had just moved into a new house so I was unpacking all the boxes, 3) I was managing a large remodeling project, 4) I ended the busiest quarter in my career 5) I was traveling by myself with 2 toddlers under the age of 3, plus, 4)I was still in the first trimester meaning I was extremely tired.
Oh yeah, and I was trying to do all the normal things a mom does like laundry (pick-up toys along the way), make breakfast (wipe-up the food my eldest daughter just spit on the floor because she didn’t like the way I made eggs that morning), make dinner (while dealing with a temper tantrum), clean the house (remember to go to the bathroom), clean-up after the kids (clean-up after myself). The list goes on.
Stress Will Kill You
Her suggestion was to try to manage my stress better. HA! Manage my stress? I was managing it by not thinking about it because I knew when my husband returned it would get better. But….that’s what I said every time. “My stress would get better”. And maybe it did, for 2 days, but something else would come up and I would be off and rolling. Managing my stress was easier said than done.
I tried journaling, therapy, taking certain vitamins and supplements, getting pedicures and some things helped but I was still bleeding more and more every day. I was doing everything I could to ensure I kept my daughter in me as long as possible.
Since I was on bed rest, I had a lot of free time because I couldn’t partake in the daily activities I use to like cleaning-up, making dinner (thanks to many family and friends that helped us through this time), going on evening walks as a family. I decided to research what I could do. Since stress was a major factor in my pregnancy, I started there.
I knew stress was considered bad but as I did more research, I learned about all of its negative effects. You can read about stress here, here, and here – for stress in children. I quickly learned stress is a “horrible, terribly, no good, very bad” TOXIN, in no better terms, killing me and had the potential to kill my baby. This toxin was KILLING ME.
I was in a kerfuffle. I couldn’t get rid of my stress because some of it was just innate like my husband training’s schedule, my crazy work schedule, tiredness of a pregnancy. I needed an alternative route (I was paying attention to the signs by now….insert emogi smile).
Toxins, they are everywhere. And that’s probably not new to you and it wasn’t for me either but I didn’t quite comprehend the level of toxicity our bodies endure on a daily basis. I was a healthy, thriving, young 27 year-old eating organically, partaking in daily exercise, doing my annual check-ups, etc. Everything that society was telling me I needed to do, right? Wrong. I was failing on so many levels.
Miss London Marie
At 31 weeks, my body finally gave in and my daughter was delivered via emergency C-section at 7:30 in the morning. My placenta had abpruted meaning my placenta (the nucleus of a pregnancy providing nutrients, oxygen, removes waste, etc.) detached, completely ripped away from my uterus no longer providing oxygen or nutrients to my precious baby girl. Thankfully, I was diligently paying attention to signs, checked myself into the hospital immediately saving her life and mine. If I would have waited any longer my daughter would not have survived.
And here she is….Miss London Marie born November 8, 2016 to Audra and Nathanael, big sister Skye and big brother Soren. Weighing in at 3lbs 1oz. She is our tiny, precious, most prized little miracle on this earth. It’s been 8 months since her birth and I still cry when I write this because angels were protecting her through my pregnancy. Her life is a gift from God.
I struggled through my whole pregnancy managing my body to support my body in every aspect I could. After giving birth, I realized that there was so much more I could have done. Instead of waiting any longer. Instead of waiting for another medical event, I decided to make the change right then and there to remove TOXINS and CHEMICALS any and everywhere I could.
I changed my diet removing sugar (huge toxin). I cleaned out my kitchen sink cabinet and utility closets ladened with chemicals. I am removing toxins in my medicine cabinet, my make-up, my laundry detergent, my face creams and shampoos. Getting rid of it all!
5 Consequences of Chemicals & Toxins in Utero
I’ve done a lot of research and I will continue to do more research. I will research until the day I die. And in all that research, I have found some pretty easy and simple ways to get rid of toxins and chemicals. At the beginning, I dreaded the journey I was about to partake. I thought it was going to be hard, that it was going to be time consuming, that it was going to be exhausting. And it was at first, but it got easier. I found people, companies, resources that made the toxin and chemical free journey much easier than I anticipated. But it took a while to get there.
I am starting this blog because it shouldn’t be so hard to find an easy answer. The answers should be as simple , as easy as walking into your local grocery store and having 500 different choices of soda pop. I am doing this because I almost lost my daughter which mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally drained me and is still taking a toll on me today.
Take a moment to think about losing the closet person in your life. Your child(ren), your spouse, your mom, your dad, your best friend. Imagine what life would be like without them. How it would impact your daily activities. How it would change the ebbs and flows of your life. How your heart would literally feel broken.
I don’t want anyone to have to suffer like I did and see their child with wires across their bodies, IV’s in their small little hands, feeding tubes, frail little legs and fingers, being restricted to the number hours you can cuddle and snuggle your baby. This is not what life had to be like for me.
DON’T WAIT TO MAKE A CHANGE
Maybe your story isn’t about a premature birth. Maybe it is some other struggle with your health or your emotions or a bad relationship. Toxins are everywhere and lead to more complications than you would anticipate. I am doing this because my children matter, my daughter matters. I am doing this because everyone matters and the struggle is real. But you don’t have to struggle, we don’t have to struggle. Making easy, simple changes can alter your life in ways you cannot even comprehend. I am doing this because life after toxins is a world I don’t want to miss.
Join me as I live a “life less toxic”.